The Girl I Pushed Away

Her name is Gabriela. I'm not afraid she'll see this, because this blog is so obscure, and she doesn't know who's writing this.
She means more to me than she'll ever know.
We've talked about we've drifted apart. She blames herself, I blame myself. She regrets. I regret.
We've been best friends since 3rd grade, and known each other since kindergarten. We've confided our darkest secrets, our crushes, our aspirations, in each other. We've laughed till we cried. We've embraced and we've had our petty fights, as all best friends do.
I understood her. She understood me.
I've always idolized her. I've always been worried about her.
She is, for better or for worse, my life. My happiness.
For so long, I relied on her-unconsciously-for my self-worth, popularity, sense of stability and security, never knowing how deep I'd been intertwined with her until she was gone.
I didn't realize this until relatively recently. I've spent 3 years of my life living in a dark fog, and not even knowing why-but it was because of her. She is my life. My happiness. She is me-but bolder, sexier, stronger.
I know this all sounds in-CREDIBLY homo-but it's true.
However, speaking of homo, she is one.
Or rather, pansexual.
Now, I don't have a problem with this. But God does. Thus, I actually DO have a problem with it.
But even worse-she's atheist. (I have nothing against atheists-but of course, God does, therefore I do.)
And I don't know how to tell her she's wrong. Or maybe I'M wrong! Maybe God doesn't exist and I should just leave her be!
But see how she makes me-makes me wanna give up everything for her. I don't blame her for this. She can't be blamed for being the most awe-inspiring person I know..or ever will know.
Anyway, if she's pansexual AND an atheist-that's a double whammy right there! She can't go to hell..Heaven (or God forbid, purgatory) not so much that I mind going to purgatory, I just don't want her to pass by there) is our last hope. Unless some miracle occurs and we end up attending the same college. Or we reconnect later in life. But in Heaven, I'll be able to tell her everything-and if she doesn't want to face it, I can just wander Heaven, trying to avoid the person that has brought me the most pain.
She can't go to hell. I can't let her. If I knew she was burning in Hell-...I don't know how I'd cope.
But I don't want her to feel as if I'm imposing my beliefs on her. So, I don't know how to bring up the topic in conversation. So for now, I'm praying to the Lord Almighty-

Dear God,
Please
Please
Please
Let Gabriela find her faith again
Let her find her heterosexuality again
Let her ascend to your Kingdom after she passes on
Because I love her
More than she'll ever know
Amen

You may think my love for her is selfish-sometimes I think that myself. That I only love her because of how on-top-of-the-world I feel with her. Maybe that's true. I like to believe its not. I want her to rock the world, I want her to succeed beyond her wildest dreams, I want her to find true love and live life to its fullest without regard to how badly I wish she would make time for me. But most of all, and its cliche, I want her to be happy.

And also, but she knows this already..
I'll love her
no matter what
(Again, no homo! (But it sure seems like it right?))